MaBlok

I’m lost and  i can’t seem to find myself……..

I’ve been seeing and meeting quite a number of people lately and I found that when i’m out …i act differently with each one of them ….

I act so differently with every new person I meet that…I think if all of them were to meet and talk about me, they wud all be like…’No way!!…tht’s not the Jane I know’.

Has the ‘wayang’ skills that I use for work everyday finally got the better of me? Have I been a little too good at masking all my true emotions and putting on a facade expected by the people i deal with at work? Too good that, even i myself somtimes get confused and misled into thinking tht it is the real me.

And with all the different masks that I use for different people I deal with I end up having different personalities…or maybe I’ve always have …,being tht Geminis tend to have more than one personalities.

But why do i change my personality like changing clothings for every different occasion..or in this case , evry different people I meet. What is my real personality then? Do I even have a true personality?

>One says that I’m bossy but at least I know what I want…and i tell people what i want.

>Another says that I’m very ‘chin chai’, easy going and I’m a good listerner…but very indecisive.

>Another says I’m a timid, goody 2 shoes, very ’si man’ kind of girl…a little reserved ad quiet too.

>Another says that I’m cheeky, witty and very manipulative with words.

>One says I do things very slow and lady like, while another says that I do things very ‘cho lo’.

So which one am I really?

I’ve seem to lost touch with my true self and i know it…but somehow I don’t know what to do about it.

Is there like an idiots guide to self-personality discovery that might be able to help me?

I think the only people who really knows me are people that I know long enough to trust. U know..people that I’ve spend significant amount of time with to allow them to piece together all those contradicting irregular specks of personality tht I show them little by little.

I guess I don’t open up my true self to anyone that easily and i don’t trust anyone that easily anymore too.

Sad things is that, nowadays its diffifult to find someone that has the patience to slowly allow me to trust them and slowly let them see the whole picture of whom I really am….

This entry was posted on Saturday, August 25th, 2007 at 5:11 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.